All my life I have struggled with my weight. I come from an obese family and pretty much accepted that I will be heavy for my entire life. I was the FAT kid that was made fun of. The Fat teenager that none of the boys wanted to have anything to do with (i'm sure the BIG HAIR didn't HELP! :) My senior year in high school, I turned it around, I pretty much starved myself so I would lose weight and look descent for my Sr. Prom and graduation. I lost TONS of weight and I felt really good about myself. The unfortunate thing was, that I didn't do it in a healthy manner and it didn't last long. My freshman year in college, I gained most of it back! I struggled with yoyo weight loss and gain the entire time! My Sr. year in college, I lost a lot of weight again. This time, it was due to depression and an over exhausting schedule. I started feeling good about myself though. I liked how I looked and it showed. My confidence level was finally up! Boys that never would speak to me, asked me out. OMG! He asked me out! But yeah, I turned him down. I wasn't good enough before, so why now? Anyway, after college, I became that yoyo person AGAIN! There went my self esteem!!!!!! I was NOT confident! I did NOT feel good in my own skin, and I absolutely HATED getting dressed to go anywhere! I went through this for a few years and then I met my husband. What a wonderful man he was/is! He accepted me the way I was and wanted to spend the rest of his life with me! Early in our marriage, I got pregnant with our first child. I really had a hard time with the pregnancy because ALL I could see is me gaining more weight! I couldn't even embrace that a beautiful baby was growing inside. Again, I was NOT confident, I did NOT feel good about myself nor could I even feel pretty! After I delivered my baby, I went on a massive diet! I only ate 1x a day. I found yoga and started doing that multiple times a day while she napped. I then had my husband come up with a routine for me at the gym and started going to the gym. The weight came off and my body started changing, I was at my lowest weight EVER! But what didn't change is how I felt about myself. I still was NOT confident and I still didn't Like myself. The weight loss didn't last too long because 2 yrs. after my first child was born, I became pregnant with my twins. Guess what! Yep, all the things I was NOT was there AGAIN! After they were born, I started taking diet pill, and again eating 1x a day and yoga. The weight came off, but because I did it in such an unhealthy manner, it would just keep coming back on. I struggled like this for 7 yrs. Up and down, up and down. Last year, I found Tone It Up. They have changed my life. I have lost weight in a healthy manner, have come to enjoy working out, and I absolutely LOVE spreading the work about them! What I have come to realize is that my inside hasn't caught up with my outside! I am still that FAT girl who is NOT confident, NOT happy with what she looks like, NO self-esteem, and NOT comfortable inside my own skin. Do I see this as a hindrance? Absolutely! What I need to learn is how to get over these feelings! How do I do this? I'm not sure. It's a struggle every single day! But, I am taking it one day at a time! I thought I would share in pictures where I was to where I am today. Yes, there is a HUGE change, but not on the inside! The inside is still a work in progress as well.
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